Idiocy: I haz it

So Eli over at Moody Tower has posted about symptoms about being under a crossed condition. Read it!

Crossed conditions can happen for a number of reasons, one of the most cited reason is being under a magical attack and these sorts of things can happen. You get the back up of a fellow mage, and they break out the crossing oil and poppy seeds, and calling down whatever spirits in their little black book to bring the hellfire to your doorstep.

Or sometimes your crossed condition is the result of your own stupidity naivety.

A lot of nasty coincidences started to build over the year, big and little things, which really started to add up to what could point to a crossed condition in my sphere.

Pshah! I thought to myself, crossed conditions only occur when someone else sends them on you! I have never spoken really to someone who practices magic enough to be sent a crossed condition. I only lurk on the internet blogs, I don't have much of an online presence, I can't have a crossed condition!

I started to blame it on initiations from rituals I was undergoing/trying to get in contact with my HGA/a predisposition to anxiousness and depressive tendencies. But it just seemed to get worse and I kept coming back to the idea that I could be under some sort of affliction.

Crossed conditions can be quite a hard thing to diagnose for yourself, so I decided to get a second opinion from a highly experienced reader.

Turns out I did have a crossed condition, however the source of my crossed condition was from a previous working with a spirit. I can't go into much detail suffice to say it was my fault for being overambitious and stretching myself beyond what I was capable of and then stopping abruptly when it got too much. Had I recognised the symptoms earlier and had been doing regular offerings and regular upkeeping, I could have curtailed it and it wouldn't be such a bugger to shift now.

So I started back doing regular offerings 2-3 times a day, petitioning my Genius and setting up a proper space for me to work in and doing regular practice of some sort - that seemed to improve my mindset huge amounts. Scale down and look at other I could try and develop. Things have started to get a little better.

On Jan 1st I did my regular reading for the New Year, specifically looking at that issue. The advice I got was to fight back the passivity I was feeling, that Eli mentioned in her blog, and to get a hold of my sphere and act like a ruler, but I am.

I'm not out of the woods yet, but there are babysteps being taken and I hope to see big improvements before long.

 So if you do think you could be under some sort of attack, I reccomend reading Jason Miller's fabulous 'Protection and Reversal Magic' for good ideas on how to protect and start the clean up yourself and going to get a reading from someone with experience. Personally, I reccomend Conjureman Ali, he was profressional, honest and very helpful when I e-mailed him.